Humor

Turner Times, Vol. 4

By Luke Stone ’20

Dear Journal,

Never have I been so embarrassed in my life. We were winning our game with Prospect Heights Middle School and winning 36-2 (we accidentally had a safety on the opening kickoff and missed all the extra points), which meant that it was garbage time. For us, it meant that we 4’11 sub-hundred pounders finally got our moment in the spotlight. While my primary position was benchwarmer and my secondary position was wide receiver, my tertiary position was middle linebacker. I lined up in the A gap on third and two when it happened. Prospect Heights’ backup running back, who was six inches taller and forty pounds heavier than me barreled between the guard and the center. I ran to meet him one yard beyond the line of scrimmage. His strength was immediately apparent. As I tumbled to the ground, I felt my arms snap. Just like eleven other players on our 31 player squad, I knew I would be out of commission for the next few weeks.

Categories: Humor