Humor

What’s in Santa’s Sack for the Class of 2019?

The ’19 Seniors


Beau Adams – “Anger-Management” the movie

Campbell Alvino – A head to fit the size of his flow

Charlie Anderson – The other half of his hair

Makhail – VinVines Gift Card

Walker Antonio – A second chance at soccer

Reid Applestein – V8, Big Mike

Ford Asherman – Spandex

Turner Ashernam – A distinguishing feature

Elijah – Varsity basketball

Cameron – Visible eyebrows

Carson Becker – To walk out of Baron’s shadow

Kyle Bilodeau – Sixth year

Logan Bowers – A rematch

Nam Bui – World Domination

Ben Burgess – More accutane

Quece – Even more Snapchats

Bill Clark – A raw steak

Henry Clark – An iron man

Mariano Corona – To be Eduardo

Mack Daniels – A journey over the rainbow

Javon – Lofted bed

Walter Dossett – Conservatism

Giulio – An original college app

JD – The Vulcan 3000 Nerf Gun

Max Dupont – Raggy-D 

Durham – Lifting routine

Harrison Eastman – Blonde tips

Riley Fletcher – a quiet night on dorm

Fuscus – An apology from Schamberger

Jack Gao – Attention

Michael Garifullin – A believable backstory

Thomas Griffin – Tanning lotion

Conyers Hallman – A contract renewal from The Office

Beau Hargrove – A buzz cut

Hank Harler – For hard work to pay off

John Harris – A cheeseburger

Konrad Hector – Trophy husband

Jax Hill – New knees

Bo Hyrstak – Shark Tank pitch for his prosthetics start-up

Bennet Hudson – Feature on the Real Barstool

Billy Huger – Puberty

Luke Hutchinson – Studs

Mack Izard – Return to the B-3 triple 

Teddy Janney – A bedazzled back-brace

Elias Jarvinen – Moving past pseudo-intellectual status

Rob Jolly – Darty

Mike Keohane – Trumpet

Alex Kim – A season-ending injury

George Ladley – Horse tranquilizer

Daniel Lee Myung – For people to know he’s from Georgia

Chip Leverette – Not looking like his brother

Jake Mascotte – Secondary Growth (of a tree)

William McAdams – Mcnuggets

Litton Mohamed – Revenge on the sled

Charlie Moore- A spot on the Christmas card with Tucker

Jimmy Muse – A copy of Bruno

Huy Nguyen – A voice

Josh Odoom – A second of playing time

Gus Perdue – Playing any sport

George Pettegrew – a new shoulder

Walker Purvis – Gray and Gumby’s approval

Jameson Rice – Control of his emotions

Pierce Richardson – Confidence

Max Richter – Another red card

Wilks Rogers – To be Caleb

Matthew Rooney- A pot of gold

RJ Ross – A Kween for King Reezy

Joey Rouijel – A collectible G.I Joe

Thomas Rowland – Attention

Jack Ryan – A turtle shell

Bo Sensenbrenner – A rematch

Ashby Shores – A cameo on impractical jokers

Henry Singleton – A positive attitude

Davis Smith- The ability to breath through his nose

Logan Starr – Candy cane

Jack Stein – Tissues

Will Thomas – A personality

Wills Thompson – Chill pill

Agus Tornabene – A bed

Graham Trask – Pom-poms

Taylor Tucker – Senior Prefect

Wils Vosteen – Cell-service at home

Anh Vu – A shower, or cologne, or both.

Dylan Walmsley – A fine meal at Outback with Hulsey

Avery Warmack – Return to Scotland

Jackson Warmack- An even deeper voice

Truett Wason – For Georgia to stop choking

Parker Watt – A Stanford acceptance letter (Christmas came early)

Max Weaver – Beating Campbell in Fortnite

Kendall Whitaker – A neck

Carter White – An innocent raw bass

Jamie Woo – Supreme

Mark Wu- Bid from ΚA at Ole Miss

William Xie – A life

Richard Yang – A duet with Ed Sheeran

Dylan Yen – A Radio

Shannon Yu – Decisivness

Disclaimer: Santa does not take refunds. 

Categories: Humor