What’s in Santa’s Sack for the Senior Class?

Edward Solms ’18 and Company

Saeed Abokor – Official UN recognition of Somaliland
Clayton Astore- A successful youtube channel
Sam Baker- Spanish Tinder

Ethan Barbour- The lead role already
Baron Becker- Igloo
Kyle Bilodeau- One more year
Coleman Bishop- Peace and quiet
Ward Bissell- Fluid Movement
William Bolton- Doggo
Mac Boney- Sleiman
Max Bozymski- Coach Gay’s respect
Noah Bradshaw- Better selfie lighting and more snapchat filters
Jeb Brinkley- Mane and tale
Dean Browning- A 36 and a bionic hand to punch cooper with
William Bryant- Phillip William’s letterman
Branson Chase- All prep
Braxton Clark- Communist Manifesto
Cartttttter Crosland- A forged Dallas birth certificate
Jack Curtice- For his mom to realise Nirvana is not a phase
Sam Deal- Toes
Spencer Dearborn- Caffeine pills
Michael Deng- Hot wooter
Lee Dudley- Jelly for his PB&J and a watchable highlight reel
Gus Dupree- Some bodyweight

Luke Durham- Ice Cream!
Jake Edwards- A lock on his door

Chuksi Emuwa- He already took it

Hank Feng – For the world to go green
Chase Francis- Khalid’s respect
Gunby Garrard- Something new to obsess over
Gray Hathaway- A new twig, brah
James Henckel von Donnersmarck- hammerschwanz

Cameron Hill- For Tom’s to be accepted as a dress shoe
Jack Hollon- A loaf of bread
Sam Hull- A shower
Crawford Humphreys- memes
Trip Hurley- Starbucks gift card and Uggs
Judson Innes- 27 Mulligans
Andrew Jacobs- Respect from his hall
Spoon Jacobs- Karate Lessons from JJ
Conn Jannerbo- A parkinson’s spoon
Wells Japhet- Mtn Dew and cowboy killers

Max Johns- Coal
Catesby Jones- Nair

William Jordan- Mtn Bike
Kyle Kauffman- A pole
Will Keller- To be cast for the role of Megamind
JJ Kim- Proof of Japanese citizenship
Sean Kim- An alarm clock
Kevin Kwag- Calves
Drew Kwon- A definitive stool sample result from UVA
Jackie Lee -More laxative gummy bears
David Li- Invisibility cloak
Edward Lindner- Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever cure
Will Long- An audience at squash matches
Myles Malone- A fourth leg
Warren Matthews- A weekend with Nick Saban
Robert Matz- Febreeze and lysol for Wells’ funk
Will McGonigle- Something a jerk would want
Ellis McKay- For Hale to leave him alone
Rob Neill- Santa’s Sack
Stephen Pappas- Puberty
Will Parker- D-work
Henry Perry- A new Rover
Campbell Petty- A muzzle
Dominic Pinion- Formuoli
Scott Pittman- A key to tisch’s room
Charles Purrington- Caveman repellant
Christopher Rex- For PF to be officially recognised as a varsity sport
William Rich- A filter
Trace Richard- A new controller
Mason Roberts – A “lil” before his name
Putnam Roberts – High heels for men
Robert Roh – Happiness
Edward Sackey- For rich to move out

 Warren Scott – Khalid’s plus one to Harvard
George Shriver- Gum remover for his pants

William Shuford- That bacon egg and cheese bagel behind his dresser
Caleb Simmons- Some camo
Woodson Smith- 1st base
Edward Solms- To live up to his older brother
Jackson Sompayrac- For people to care about the House D Prefect
Brenden Stakem- A new bike
Jack Starr- Chris and Boz
Josh Staufenberg – A white collar job, decent house, and 2.5 kids
Jack Stone – Concern for self-image
Willie Sturgis- Some gnar
Khalid Thomas- To get the heck out of here

Reece Tilgner- A climbing wall in Dowd House
Noel Turlington- A working body
Kent Walker- A positive attitude
Guy Wall- A tree that hugs back
Will Wallace- A “quality” girl

Benjamin Weaver- Jack’s approval

 Ian Weinberg- A new offer so he can decommit again

 Will Wideman- A voice that matches his athleticism

 Cooper Willis- Some pre

 Jameel Wilson- A fund for the victims of his ankle breaking

Categories: Humor