Humor

Smells of the Forest

Gus Dupree ’18


The Student Store has revealed its brand new line of Woodberry-themed scented candles, dubbed “Smells from the Forest”. “With our new line of ‘Smells from the Forest’, students, faculty and alumni alike can all bring with them the scents and aromas found only at Woodberry.” said a Student Store manager. “With Christmas around the corner, ‘Smells from the Forest’ is a perfect way to give your family the Woodberry experience, while also bringing some of Woodberry home with you!”

Some examples of the new candle scents include “Varsity Locker Room,”  “Happy Garden Take-Out”, “Walker Building” and “Scrambled Breakfast Plate”. Many other scents were rejected, however. Notably, “Fresh Mulch”, “Glover Center floor-mat” and “Cow Dung” failed to make the final cut. The student store is expected to be fully stocked by the end of the week, and individual candles are on sale for only $45 each. Mr. Alexander would like to remind students that open flames are not allowed on dorm. Fortunately, air-freshener versions of all current “Smells from the Forest” candles will be available by February.

 

Categories: Humor